False Pretense

Rant of the month!

2009-11-26T15:15:46Z

Waiting for irah's return from Brunei, and then off we go to KL! Selamat hari raya haji to all!

Oh and seems like I have to work weekends every fortnight. Sunday will be double pay.. Hmm.. And I'm veryyyy happy with my latest paycheck. :) Bonus next month!!!

Just returned home just now and I found out that Danish (the lovebird) have a new friend. Ayie told me she was sitting on top of Danish's cage and Simon (the cat) was trying to catch her. And then they all name her Pungut! Wahlaoo. What an unglam name for a colourful bird.

Once there were 4 birds, and when Bob was feeding them one day, 3 managed to fly off. Hahaha. Good to know that Danish wouldn't be chirping to himself again.

There's a new electric guitar in the house and the kids and dad have been strumming it all night. Makes me wanna learn how to play it... And my dad got that new Eee PC thing from his company with free mobile broadband... and showing it off. Action seh.

K ah irah just came back. And I found out that she ate some worm over there. And she said it's nice, like butter. Wtf...

Ciao!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

arzifah @ 2009-11-21T01:26:00

2009-11-20T17:26:14Z

I learnt something from my dearest boyfriend just now.
Even though people may be rude to you, you dun retort back, cause it just makes you one of them.
So from now onwards, i'll just be patient and act as if nothing had happened..
=)

Jvs high tea session tomorrow. and i hope all the jambass will be able to attend.
They MUST, cause i've bought the tickets already!
And i saw mrs neo, chia and alfred the other day.
They all said i still look the same, just that i've grown taller.
And that 4B is still the best class ever, 'cause the batches after that are worst.
Mrs neo and alfred still wished they still had us!
Hah hah hah.
I know lah my class was the best&coolest class and that we felt we had disappointed alfred the most, but surprisingly we are so dearly missed by her!
=D

cant wait to set up my very own phone line, cable, and broadband!
haven't you heard i'm living independently on weekdays already???
=)

i think i better should start praying again..
look at those people.
they are not muslims but they never fail to pray everyday..
One of them do not even want to eat if he forgets or have no time to pray.
And me?
Hmm, jangan tunggu bila dah susah, baru nak ingat Tuhan.
=)

YOU DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE SO "GREAT" LAH.

2009-11-13T19:27:39Z

I hate to do this again, especially when it's involving you.
Please do not think that you are so so great, that you can tell me what to do and whether you're approving it or not.
The only thing i look up to is my Creator... (and my HOD lah, parents lah, grandparents lah.)
And you're no authoritative figure eh. So please stop acting as one just because u're older.
Face it. You're so small (literally and metaphorically speaking).
In fact, whenever i talk to you, i reallllly look down on you.
I think only your mouth is the only thing that's big ah. Urghh.

So you're easily terasa eh?
Now this whole thing is about you.
The previous one wasn't ALL about you.
So stop thinking too much and start swallowing the whole of this.
And it's so much better if you dun say anything back, you know?

Haiz. This is so effing stupid. i cant believe i'm doing this, but i definitely want to get it off my chest.
Patience, patience, patience.
Ignorance, ignorance, ignorance.

arzifah @ 2009-11-08T00:21:00

2009-11-07T16:22:59Z

And now i remember why i named this False Pretense.

Sighs.

arzifah @ 2009-10-31T23:56:00

2009-10-31T16:10:30Z

my grandparents will be returning to kl tomorrow.. for many2 months.
i'll miss them like crazy.
cried all the way back home.
thanks dzariif for the tissues and consoles.

even though i'm not ready, i think i'll do what nenek wants me to do.
hmmm... so when should i move in?
i hope i won't be scared living alone.
time to grow up and be independent...

yet again, maybe this is what i've always wanted.

will be waking up really early tomorrow to buy some gifts for them.
hopefully i'll be on time, and won't cry infront of them...

i'll miss my nenek and her stories and her cooking..
i hope she won't like living there, so after a few months later, they'll shift back here.
can't wait for that. =)
in the meantime, i'll pray for them to be safe always.

arzifah @ 2009-10-18T01:50:00

2009-10-17T19:05:58Z

ok it's been a long time since i did a proper update. and i know i should be uploading pics of hari raya and stuff, but u should know that this laptop is crashing and so so slow and so most of the time i got fed up and do no updates at all.

so far work has been quite alright. it's tough actually. this is like my first real job and there's so much things i need to learn - and do! my colleagues are like the best lab techs ever. they have robotic hands (no kidding). very very soon i'm gonna have robotic hands too. i just have to do everything very fast like pro! =D

it's been a month and a half working there. last week, my supervisor spoke to me and told me that i'm very slow. because the day before she asked me to spread plate about 20 samples and i took 1 hour to do it. (Anyway i'm kinda in charge of TPC and i don't spread plate everyday). I'm also supposed to count plates ah. As usual, the normal TPC plate is easy and i have no probs with it. the only prob is counting the MFC plates because they have 3 different types of colonies with colours such as dark, medium, and light blue. Even the media is blue ah. so MFC is everything blue so that's why i have probs reading them. And it was only my 3rd day reading the MFC ah. And she told me my spread plate and counting is very slow and as a result it's somehow affecting the team or something like that. But oi! not fair to judge me like that sia. Firstly the spread plate part, i didn't really rush cause there are no more samples after that. and secondly it's only my 3rd day counting MFC ah. And finally, i'm still considered new! How is that supposed to be fair? Of course i didn't say any of that to her ah. i "ok2" only. must respect a bit mah. And she still say "Dun say ok2 only ah. Must show." Walao. If i dun say ok, want to say what right? stupid. Then she gave me a choice to go to another company (another lab with an easy job, but i must work alone) or just stay there (as of which i must show that i can be as good as the seniors). She die2 wanted me to make that decision on the spot u know! Then i say i want to stay ah. Siao woman. Somebody tell her that all people need to get better is time please. Then she also say if i dun improve, she'll have to transfer me to the other company, and if i'm still not good there, i'll have to go.

Bleargh.

But her intentions were good ah. She just have very high expectations of me and wants me to be as good as them. She told me the next day not to be offended by it. Hmm. That was a harsh wake up call and if not for that, i may still be "in my own world". But i do not have to be worried about getting transferred or what because another colleague will be going there.

K ah enough said bout work. Weekdays work like dog, so weekends must enjoy2 rilek2 only! haha.

Anyway, i went out with dzariif just now and we didn't spend any money at all. amazing ah. He was looking at the calendar and suddenly said "Yay 16 more days!". I asked to what, and he asked me to guess. So i say ah "Oh 16 more days till your mum gets paid?". Nope. "Till u get ur allowance?" Nope. (Haha because now he very pokai already ah.) He looked very sad already u know.. Then i realised "Oh your birthday!!!".

Haha lucky he asked that ah. If not i would have forgotten entirely. Hmm 21st birthday eh. haha what to plan what to plan what to plan....?

Alah i just buy u cake then celebrate bawah block boleh tak? hahaha.

arzifah @ 2009-09-20T04:21:00

2009-09-19T20:36:35Z

i had written an entry just now and just as i wanted to click update, the page suddenly hanged.
now no mood to update long2 already.
ok lah.
Hope all of u enjoy Hari Raya this year.
I won't get duit raya anymore. sad ah.

And i would like to take this opportunity to apologise to any of you whose feelings i've hurt,
whether intentionally or not. and nope, im not apologising because of the festive season, but because i really mean it.
sometimes, my mouth (and fingers) cant seem to control itself, and so things that shouldn't be said were said.
but really, i have no intention of making people hate me so i'm really sorry for the problems i've caused ok?
and i'm still learning how to control myself and be a better person.
so let's put our egos aside and buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih. =)

arzifah @ 2009-08-26T22:41:00

2009-08-26T15:22:38Z

Couldn't be bothered actually.
Sometimes people say bad things about you with no basis at all.
And it made me think, is this for real? What will people think about you?
Childish, i'll say. Cowardice..? maybe.

People can hide, can lie, can ignore, when faced with questions of the truth.
Ouch, truth hurts. But why not face it?
Why bother saying all stupid, childish stuff when it can be solved easily.
What, easily is too short and easy? So grudging is the new way to go?
Maybe some people just want more drama in their life.

As for me..........
I know i made lots of mistakes.
Doing the right thing is the only way to go.
I'll face it even if it costs me my humility.
Nay, what am i saying?
Nobody should think they're so big.
We should all just let it go man...

arzifah @ 2009-08-17T14:50:00

2009-08-17T06:56:10Z

because it's not fair.

so stop breaking my ♥.

The GAGA Day!

2009-08-14T19:04:47Z

Me and husna reached Fort Canning at 12 and we were surprised to be the first to arrive! Actually we planned to meet at 10 tau. Semangat or what! Not me, but husna kinda persuaded me to take the day off.

Anyway the second group of people arrived an hour later and instantly made friends with them. They were so young and probably have been to almost all the concerts here. They made us feel we do not have a life, man. haha.

So yah. Me and husna was happy2 feeling2 that we will be standing in the front row and everything. Sekali there's such a thing called "Priority" tickets! And they were the first to buy, paid the least amount for the ticket, and got to enter first! Wah not fair! But i mean, i really should think priority tickets should be much more expensive. And also got VIP tix ($330) which is comfortably located at the back. haha like waste money kan? Pay so much then sit at the back.

The opening act was DJ Inquisitive. I enjoyed at first but gradually grew bored of it. The intermission was irritating because its freaking techno/dance music. it was so hot and cramped and me and the others were thinking of strategies to get to the front. People from the back who were trying to squeeze their way through are such a turn-off. Anyway husna decided to go to the back for fresher air. Even a girl fainted. i think its partly due to the irritating music. I finally managed to get through to the 3rd row!

And so Gaga FINALLY came out after more than an hour later. But we hold no grudges because she's so wild! And the first impression she gave was of her orgasm. Haha i was totally shocked, but soon after we joined in the 'orgasm' as well. Fun ah. Everything is good and perfect, and she's so cute. She showed middle finger at us, we also show back. Whatever she do, we also do. And she even said "You guys know my songs so well... You dun even need me anymore...." haha, and "sing sing sing singapore. sing sing-a-long singapore. I've been waiting all day to say that, you know" then got "I love you singapore... chili crab!" hahaha cute seh! But the best quote was, "If people tell you, you cannot do it. just tell them to fuck off! A lot of people build me up just to tear me apart, but u know what? im performing to a crowd of 10000 tonight". yea.... she's right man. Who would want to bring her down? she's so funny and adorable and everything nice!! And her craziness and vulgarities win my heart!
Ok so now i've like 160 pictures of the concert. I've been wanting to upload on FB but it always failed! I'll give the link as soon as it's all up. Meanwhile here's a sneak peak. heh.

OK! I'll link up the other pictures soon. And i also very happy ah. Cause i FINALLY found a permanent lab job! After like what, 4 months of searching? Hah. Bloody economy. ok fine, i should be saying ALHAMDULILLAH instead. HeeeHeeeHeee.

So basically i'll be doing food testing! yay food! so that's applied microbio to you, one of my favourite practicals (even though me and husna did it with you-know-who). Oklah BYE!!!!

SHOCK OF THE DAY

2009-08-03T15:26:25Z

Irah MSNed me at work just now....

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

hello

Arzifah says:

nak ape?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

takde pape

hehe

kau dah tngk rumah???

Arzifah says:

kenape?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

dah lapang...

Arzifah says:

asal???

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

abeh aku kener kemas

Arzifah says:

betol ke nak pindah johor?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

aper lagi???

Arzifah says:

abeh kita???

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

tinggal umah nenek

Arzifah says:

serious pe?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

taktau

\mama nyer plan gitulah

Arzifah says:

sape yg tgl rumah nenek?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

kite

aku,kau ,ayie

bob kan ns

Arzifah says:

lerrr

aku ckp skrg!!

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

taklah

lps nenek tinggal kl

Arzifah says:

ohhhhh

abeh mama ngan abah confem tgl sane?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

agaknyer

balek kul barpe

Arzifah says:

giler!!

mlm ah

abeh abah nak gi kerja cam mane?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

naik motor

pagi2 keluar kul 5

Arzifah says:

skrg rumah tgl aper?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

tgl

taktau

ice bok takder

Arzifah says:

mama amek ape?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

washing machine takde

plasma

dining table

Arzifah says:

mampos!!!!

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

haha

Arzifah says:

bedek ah kau

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

betul

SUMPAH

Arzifah says:

skejap nyer dah pindah...............

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

haha

lepas

PSLE aku skolah sane

Arzifah says:

GILER!

KAU NAK SKOLAH KAT JOHOR????

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

boleh

Arzifah says:

skolah aper?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

skolah kebangsaan tmn bukit indah

Arzifah says:

hahahahah!!!!!!!

tu govt school

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

hahahahahaahahahahahaha

Arzifah says:

asal tak amek private?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

taktau

Arzifah says:

cepat seh

kau nak tgl johor eh?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

tu pasal ah!!

Arzifah says:

kau nak tgl johor pe???

nak jadi minah malaysia eh?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

tanak

eeeeeeeee

Arzifah says:

tu ah!!!!

biar mama n abah je ah tgl sane......

aku nak duduk rumah j.west

rumah nenek tak de free transport utk kerja aku

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

abeh rmh ni nak sewa

Arzifah says:

tau......

eh abeh cam mane kiter nak mkn nie?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

taktau

blajar masak

Arzifah says:

sape nak kemas rumah?

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

alah ku kan blha

Arzifah says:

abeh rumah nenek ade 1 bilik je!

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

tgakpelah

share

Arzifah says:

SEMPIT!!!

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

Arzifah says:

aku nak protest!!!

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

aku tdo luar

Arzifah says:

blg mama aku tanak move anywhere...

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

ur prob

Arzifah says:

=((((((((((((((((((((((((

Sitti Nurarfazirah says:

haha

And i went home to find the house in a mess! The fridge was gone. washing machine was gone. Mirrors and other furnitures were gone. And even the plasma was gone? What's tv without plasma, man.. Just now me and the kids ate dinner on the sofa bed, staring into nothing and feeling so awkward! Because got no tv!!!

Senang kate, everything in the living and dining was gone, except for the sofa bed (thank god!). Nasib baik tong gas pon dorang tak angkat sekali! This is so crazy! This morning before i went out, my mum told me today we're going to "pindah rumah". And i was like "haha yelah tu!". And it really did happen? I thought she was kidding! But my mum, no matter how unbelievable her words can be, in the end it's still true lei! I know that my mum is planning to do all this, but i was expecting it to be next year or something. Not this soon! This is totally crazy, and my mum always have crazy ideas. But no matter what, things still fall back in place. And i hope it's not long before things finally went back to normal.

Now i'm thinking... Raye amacam? Spoke to my mum (she n my dad still at johor now!) and i asked her how we're gonna live. And she still can laugh2 and joke2 bout it. And said i can help buy the furnitures. HAHA sponsor dulu ah!!! Dunno lah they all... Whatever it is I believe i have the best and biggest bedroom in the world and i'm not gonna leave it for somebody else!!!

Oh i had wanted to mention this since a few days ago, but has always forgotten. Aida has safely delivered to a beautiful baby gal on Friday, 31st July! Haha i am so happy for her, and i feel bad for not visiting her during her pregnancy =(. So i'm gonna meet her and the new babe soon! Haha way to go, babe. 2 gals in a row. May you and your hubby lead a happy and prosperous life, and have more children in the future!!! =D

arzifah @ 2009-08-02T20:44:00

2009-08-02T15:18:00Z

Haha somehow i find it funny when i know that people are irritated/annoyed/agitated by me, especially after I had said something back at them. And most of the time i'll be saying to myself, "Just because of that only?" haha. It's like as if they cannot say anything relevant already and all they can do is wishful thinking. Haha come ah... come and kick my ass with slutty heels....!!!!! hahaha..

I had finally realised that i do not have to be so saint. Actually i think bitching is fun. It's like one of the things that makes me laugh because the other person is just like that. Of course lah, i only bitch about the people that is worth bitching about, who is already a bitch, and whom i won't feel guilty at all for bitching. What for i want to bitch about good2, nice2 people right? Haha. And this is LIFE! Who doesn't bitch, you tell me?

I know lah everyone is not perfect.. And we are imperfect in our own ways. I do not have to care about people who do not like the flaws in my character, because that is just who i am! Before anybody can say i'm contradicting myself, i meant to say that i'll not ignore the matter, but i do not care about the person so i'll just say whatever i want, irregardless of how they'd feel. (Yes, my dear ex-colleagues constantly taught me not to be scared and to stand up for my rights!) Sometimes, what they say about me is not true at all!! Haha. I like this only, say i'm less human. I like that only, say i'm a devil. HAHA. Can be more realistic or not??? Are you God to say if I'm human or devil? For once, people should think with their brain, not a heart that's bruised.

Ok lah... Enough bitching for the day. And one more thing. Bitching doesn't have to mean that i'm a bitch. Oh my gosh, do you have to put a label to everything???

And my dear Dzariif had just gotten a PC. That's great and i hope he'll do well and not be late for his submissions. I'd always wanted to help him with his project, but i knew nothing of Architecture. The last time i helped him to design an office, i gave up after 30 minutes because it's so confusing and i ended up having a migraine.

Yesterday, i had tuition in the morning and after that headed over to the granny's place. Dzariif came over too. We ate Sweet&Sour Grouper, prawn that taste of flour and butter, some veggie with super nice gravy, and CEMPEDAK GORENG! YumYum, my Nenek is the best in the world. My grandfather had bought a new handphone again (this time Sony Ericsson!) and i escaped the tutorial of how-to-use-a-new-handphone because i spent half an hour in the toilet after eating and Dzariif was there! So he patiently taught my grandfather with success.

After that we went off and then i met Husna. Bought Lady Gaga tickets (!!!!!!!!!!!!) and then walk and talk, walk and talk, walk and talk. Stories of the usual, and a little bit of bitching of course. Yalah, what is Husna without bitching, right? hahaha.

Last week, me and my family went to Johor. Now, they will go there very often because my parents had bought a semi-d a couple of months ago. I went there for the first time last week and.... The exterior looks nice. The rooms are small and the toilet wall got a few holes. Therefore i'll say the workmanship is not really good. But nvm, not that i'm gonna stay there very often. My mum is planning to rent off this current house and and the rest is gonna stay there. And nope, i'm not gonna live there, and i dun like staying in this house alone and maybe with strangers. So me and my bro are gonna stay at my grandparents house. And my grandparents are planning to move back to kl, so we'll have that place to ourselves. heh.

Then last week also, me and my mum and the kids went to the bird park. I had a great time there! Haha the last time i went there was on my 2nd birthday so obviously i can't remember a thing. There's a video of that outing, but still. haha. I took lots of pictures there. The best part is when we went to this African place. The birds were let loose and there were lots of them. Especially those small colourful little birds that are always running around. Geram betol. So we had fun chasing the birds just so we can have a nice picture of them. Haha.

But right now......... im so tired already, i'm very lazy to upload pictures.... I am so hungry.... K bye................

LETTING THE GUARD DOWN

2009-07-31T18:31:40Z

So how do i start?

Sometimes it's a shock when people can just dislike you without you knowing the real reason behind it. And when you guessed what the real problem might be, you may want to make amends with the person. Usually most people accepted to be friends back, but others do not. But in the end, friends or foes, deep in their heart they may still dislike you all the same.

Now that's what i've observed generally. True friends stay, and the rest were lost along the way. But what made me sad was when i tried to make amendments, to make things better, but was seen as insincere.

"My bad". That was the first time i used it, i swear. I didnt know it was seen as insincere to some. Wrong diction with the wrong people, i guess. To me, it was admitting a mistake, not apologising yet. Maybe i was only half-way apologising to you, but you were so cold and haughty and ignorant, i guess i should just leave it at that and say what i wanna say. And my standard form of apology is to know my mistake first, and apologise next. Seriously, some people can just say sorry (with the most sincere words ever) just for the sake of it, and still dunno what they are apologising for. Not much mistake-learning coming out from that. But anyway, you ignored me thereafter. I was very sad at first, but it turned to total regret for even wanting to approach you, for being rejected. Just because of "my bad", i guess???

You see.... People can be judgmental in so many ways. (And i'm not gonna talk abt contradicting yourself over here).

I never would realise that i am capable of making people hate me to the very core. But it did happen. And i never would have imagine that i am capable of crumbling someone's family either. But hey, it can be possible, even though i never intend or even thought about it.

So that's why. Before that unfateful thing happens, i was on the way of preventing it. The first step, to know my mistake; second step, to apologise; and lastly, to be friends all over again and let bygones be bygones.

That looks simple enough. But needless to say, you didn't even let me pass through that first step. Why??? Do you have to hate me forever? Don't you want the 3 of us to be like normal again? Are you not gonna help your family from possibly crumbling down because of me? Seriously, im not pointing a finger at you or being judgmental, but logically it is you who is preventing good things from happening. And from there, worsening the situation. I may not be a good person, but my intentions were sincere.

*
*
*
*
*

Yeah.... There have been many moments when i thought to myself that I do not deserve somebody as good as Dzariif. He is the most angelic, the most kind, and the most beautiful person to me. While me.. (Well you can fill in the blanks). I've always wondered, "Why me, when there are tonnes of other pretty and kind girls out there?" We are total opposites and the only common characteristic we have is maybe our ego. And so we tend to quarrel a lot.

But in the end, all i have to do was look into his eyes. Have i ever said his eyes were so beautiful, it makes me melt, makes me dreamy, makes me calm. And i immediately regretted for making him hurt. So that's explain why when u tried to pujuk me, i'm still moody, you give up, and then you moody pulak, and then it was my turn to pujuk you back. Haha this thing may keep on going round and round, sayang. Funny to think about it.

But back to the main point. Dzariif, you're the best bf I can ever have and my attitude and character and behaviour are such a disgrace. I love you so much, and i was stupid enough to ask you to find other girls. Worst, i had even volunteered to find you a suitable one, haha. From now onwards i'll try my very best not to be so bad. Hell, you can even write down a list of what i can and cannot do ok? haha. I don't want to lose you, and i don't want you to lose others just because of me.

For that to happen, i'm gonna change myself first. Turn over a new leaf, extract out the bad things and just be more patient. They say old habits stay, but heckcare, nothing's impossible nowadays. I've said this before but it's not really happening so i wanna say it again: "I'll see evil, hear evil, but will not talk evil". Hahaha.

Fucking banglas.

2009-07-23T05:32:07Z

I am so bloody pissed off. As you know, i've just switched job and right now my company is in Tuas. So during lunch time, i have to walk by a couple of companies to get to the canteen. And i have to pass by a group of banglas at 1 particular company. Everyday i walk passed there, they'll look2 and smile2 at me with dreamy excited fucking faces like never before see a woman like that. So everyday i ignore them and try not to look at them whenever i pass by. then today, i was walking alone back to my company. I saw one of them holding a handphone and then i feared the most. But heckcare i still have to walk past them what. skali when i passed by, that motherfucker go and snap a picture of me lah sial! I was bloody shocked and pissed off, and in return showed a middle finger to him. Then the others were like laughing and i heard a malay voice that said, "Ek eh! Sayang dah makan sayang?!!!". Eh pukimak betol. I didnt see a malay there but heard a malay voice so either one of the bangla can speak malay or there is a malay security guard or whatever shit around there. I was damn fucking angry. I decided to complain to Mrs Lim, but she's not in her office yet, and then i saw Angeline and told her about it. I swear i'm gonna barge into that company later and complain to their supervisor or something. let's just hope the supervisor is not a bangla or that malay fucking voice ah. Fucking irritating idiotic deprived banglas!!!!!! I know lah everyday got lorry pick you up from your dorm, bring you to work, then bring back to your dorm again. And you may never see a woman with a nice body (have to praise myself for that because my colleagues do not really have nice bodies) like me. Fucking banglas, i hope all of you will all turn into extremely fucking gays and fuck each other assholes until koyak rabak so that your whole head can go in. Fucking go to hell can!!!

UPDATE:

Just now i complained to Mrs Lim, and we contacted the HR Manager. She told us to come and identify that fucking bangla ah. Then over there, i realised that i cant really remember the bangla face, some more all of them dark and no distinctive features. But what i sure rmb was that it is a brown SE phone. So we talked to a Burmese (whom i mistaken for a malay) and asked if he knew abt it. But he said he and his frens were at the back, so he wasn't there. Some more the company got 30 over bangla working there, how to really identify u tell me? I was thinking to just show their phones but as you know, that's not really fair to the innocent others. Anyway, i'm sure they'll get a warning or something. So tmrw when i walk past there for lunch, i'm gonna screen them completely, knowing in my heart that they may never appear happy and excited when they see me again. And maybe tmrw i'll plaster a smile on my face for them and say in my heart, "Haha, fucking banglas. Now you cannot enjoy2 looking at me anymore. Yesterday, you're lucky. but from now onwards, BEWARE."

But still. Fucking lucky banglas. I'm still not satisfied, of course. May one of your friends capture a porn gay video of you and your partner and post it online. Fucktards!!!

Current Favourite Song on Repeat.

2009-07-22T03:16:41Z

King - Weezer

One night at the disco I wanted to dance slow
I saw a sweet baby, such a fine lady
And I walked up to ask her, but some dude just grabbed her
I told him to back off, cut me some slack off

I see you come here, drinkin' that cheap beer
Act like you own it, I can't condone it
You show me no respect, you got to get off it
You got to get with it. Time for a swift kick

You see, I own this town. You best not come around.
If you wanna get by, then cool it down.
If you wanna start something, know one thing: I'm king.
If you wanna mess around like that, that's just how it is.
If you wanna get by, then mind your biz.
If you wanna start something, know one thing: I'm king.

You wanted attention and did I mention:
Nobody likes you, except for the losers
You made a whole army, an army of babies
Some of them stupid, some of them crazy

Pick up your action, act like a grown man
Look at the winners, you can be like them
Life is so easy, pleasant, and dreamy
If you get off me, if you get with me

You see I own this town. You best not come around.
If you wanna get by, then cool it down.
If you wanna start something, know one thing: I'm king.
If you wanna mess around like that, that's just how it is.
If you wanna get by, then mind your biz.
If you wanna start something, know one thing: I'm king.

You can't break me
Never take me
That's just how it is
You can't break me
Never shake me
Clear out of my biz
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

These lyrics are so frank, they must have touched some nerves, eh.

Nenek Keropok HOHOHO.

2009-07-20T04:10:45Z

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Why is everyone talking about the Nenek Keropok ni? Even my youngest brother told me that story. I didn't believe him lah, coz who knows its just another story which kids like to create. hahaha. And then everybody else told me about it and it even came out in Misteri Jam 12. Haha funny lah. That time my bro told me, he said the Nenek Keropok is selling around the Boon Lay area. And then now there's news, that the Nenek is roaming in Tampines ah!!!

Hahaha i dunno why everyone is so scared of this. Maybe it's fake or maybe there's more to it. hahaha. Im just laughing off to every blog that writes of it.

Note to self

2009-07-09T06:22:50Z

Next time when I have the choice to work or to go out with ____, I'd definitely go to work. In that way, it's guaranteed that I'll make money rather than waste money and be bored and be kept waiting the whole day.

Actually working is good. People who is "always with work" is not bad what. What's wrong with wanting to get more money, anyway?

Truth is, people keep saying whatever they want when they need the attention. Most of the time, whatever they say are full of nonsense and totally unreasonable.

And it's not even worth it. People who always think they are right, do not care if they'd hurt others' feelings. So yea, just go on and prove yourself right. May you live and die and rot with that satisfaction forever.

Haiz writing this is such a waste of time. Not that it will make things better anyway. Yea, what's the use of not trying to hurt people when you yourself don't feel better, right?

arzifah @ 2009-06-15T20:44:00

2009-06-15T12:57:39Z

Haha today at work we watched porn. It's these scandolous videos between a cosmetic surgeon and some women, whom one of them is a celebrity. And i realise, when you're watching it with gals/ladies/women, it's totally normal. You don't feel anything at all. But when you're watching it with boys/guys/men, it's totally so eww and awkward and weird and we'll just go "ewwww" and then we'll stop the video. HAHA.

Haha anyway, had quite a fun day at work today. Quite relaxed, and time passed by quite quickly. Not forgetting, Husna came down for an interview, and hopefully she'll get called up! Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait! In this case, i won't have to eat with the bitch anymore when my "comfortable group of colleagues" are gone, and i can just bitch about the bitch with no qualms at all. Heh.

I hope i get a lab tech job REAL soon. This job is totally boring me to hell.

arzifah @ 2009-06-12T23:14:00

2009-06-12T15:24:15Z

I just treated myself to an iPod Touch. Plus, I received the silicon case, screen protector, power adaptor, remote control, and a leather case absolutely free!! Everything for only $380 (u.p. $388)!!! Haha $8 discount only, but still!

I think everyone should only buy gadgets at IT shows.

Bye!!!!!

arzifah @ 2009-06-07T18:15:00

2009-06-07T10:32:36Z

Had a great barbeque with my dear classmates yesterday. They prepared everything themselves, and it was the best and tastiest bbq food, with the best mixed of drinks ever! We had a lot to eat, a lot to drink, and a lot to talk about. This may be the last gathering before the girls enter university, and the guys enter the army. I am really really proud of them, cause almost all managed to get into the uni of their choice. A few that didn't had already worked as lab techs, so it seems that its only me who's been the unlucky one. But not to worry, I am fairly happy with my life right now (minus those pathetic politics, of course).

arzifah @ 2009-05-31T18:20:00

2009-05-31T11:08:38Z

I really wanna talk about graduation, but i'm just not happy enough to blog abt it. Alternatively, my grad pics are already up on FB.

Anyway, i've been wrongly accused twice this week. I mean, who are these people? I've told myself to let it go, because this type of people, they are not totally worth it to dwell about. It's just them, and confronting about it will just be a waste of time. At the end of it, will i be totally satisfied and happy? will it bring me far in life? absolutely no.

So as an act of maturity (ahem), i put up a relaxed, calm face and that nice, sweet voice, and act as if that thing never happen. Surprisingly, things turned out fine! And i hope, they'll feel guilty about what they said. Anyway, their feelings really shouldn't matter to me at all. Let them think what they wanna think, because i do know that is not the truth, and may they be satisfied with what they knew. Those accusations are just so petty, and i was totally surprised that it really did bother these women. (Read: these people are older than me. Turns out maybe they have nothing better to do.)

I was totally, unbelievably in control of myself. If not for my sanity, i would have lashed out right there and then. Let retributions pay you back, bitch.

2 YEARS!!!

2009-05-20T15:47:09Z

730 days of ups and downs.
All in all, totally worth it. =P
Here's to many more years of togetherness, my dearest.

Ouh, a special note from Dzariif. He just realised something and feels totally sad that his girlfriend of two years still could not pronounce his name properly. Hahaha. Sorry eh sayang. When i was in Primary 1, I frequently ditched my phonics lessons ah. So please bear my cuteness for eternity. Hehehe.

Confession

2009-05-16T14:41:27Z

There are so many things i want to say. But the only thing i can muster is, "I am such a bitch." I am really sorry. I just don't know why. I hope i can say sorry to everyone, and everyone can know that i am really sorry. I really do not want to be a bad person. I don't know why this is so hard. Coward.

After everything, i admit, I haven't gained anything at all, but lost everything precious instead. People are imperfect, and i feel that i am the most imperfect ever. This selfish, bitchy self just have to change. This is all very ugly. =(

Help me if you care.

Long Time No Rants

2009-04-27T17:29:59Z

I went back to SP just now to find blu-ray stations and that new cafe outside library.
Anyways, me and dz watched I Not Stupid Too, and i cried like hell. hehs. sad sia!
And its like crying one moment, and then laughing the next.
And then we watched Blood Diamond after that, which was really good.

Lots of changes in SP, and i really feel old when walking in that school.
But that's nothing compared to students who have earned themselves the Long Service Award, eh.
hah hah hah.
Fine i shouldn't laugh.
Dz says it's rude, but i think he's scared to think that it's possible for him to be a 5th Year student.
hah hah hah.
Fine, sensitive topic.
I shouldn't laugh.

HeHeHe.

Ouh and i have tonnes of jobs waiting to be applied.
I'll try my best to send those resumes tomorrowwww.
Which i am so lazy.
And i've been saying that ever since last week.
But what d'ya know.
I think i've sent more than 50 resumes.
With no replies at all.
And eww. That really brings me down.

I've been thinking and thinking and thinking.
I wanna get an ACCA.
Most marketable ever, and my mum agreed to sponsor the fees for me.
Thank you.

And since Dz can't always go out with me, i'd spent most of my free time out with my family.
And hey, they're not bad at all. They are fun. Everyone's funny in their own ways.
And i really like spending time with them. haha.
The other day, me and my parents kind of 'lectured' Bob about his results.
He'll be taking the 'A's this year, you see.
And i'm 'honoured' (???) to be part of the same team as my parents now.
And Bob was fed-up giler.... Cause he thinks we're just bullshitting around, and not understanding his situation at all.
Haha whatever...... But it was really cool, to talk to him and bullshitting what he should do to get better results.

Ouh i had a dream last night.
Jason Mraz was kissing me after his very-small-invites-only concert.
Not that i'm a super big Jason Mraz fan, but still.
It feels so good....
And then, i just had to wake up.
I tried not to admit that its just a dream, and then tried to sleep again, hoping to be where i left off.
But to no avail.
Oh wells.

Why do ALL of my good dreams have to end mid-way?

Seriously. ALL sia. hmmph.

When I Finally Have A Stable Job That Pays Well

2009-04-26T13:51:22Z

I've seen and heard of many terrible people in my life. And then i started to hate those people. I usually make up a list (in my mind) of what i would not and did not want to be in the future, based on those people. But today i decided to extract the most recent list and paste it in here.

In this case, if i finally have a stable job that pays well.......
I would not give my mum only a pathetic 100 bucks (which is less than 5%!!!!) off my paycheck every month, i would give her more. Ouh, and i would give some money to my dad and siblings too!
I would not go enjoying myself, like buy expensive stuff lah, go Batam lah (eww Batam???), unless my family is financially stable. In other words, i would help my family in times of difficulty!
I would not install cable and internet, just so i hope that my mum would let me go Batam with my bf and friends. (Eww Batam?? at least kalau Bintan, ade 'class' siket!!)
And if my brother has a gf and they're always breaking and patching up, i won't call that "immature" because most probably they handle their own relationship differently from mine, and i should just fuck off because it is none of my business and surely my brother and his gf wouldn't like that being said about them.
And then, if my brother plays LAN games using the internet that i had installed, i won't take off the modem, just so he and my other siblings can't use it for their own entertainment purposes as well. I find the act of taking back what i had provided to be very immature. And omg, especially when it's only because of my brother playing free LAN games sia!!!
And i also won't complain to my bf about my brother playing games on my internet, and ask him how to prevent the internet from loading that game website, because i know that my bf would find it very pathetic.

All in all, i would not do any of those things because it would make me a stingy and selfish person. To others, i may even seem like a bitch. Anyways, i don't want people to hate me. Other unimportant people (like my bro's gf, for example), nevermind, cause she's insignificant in my life. But surely i wouldn't want my family members to hate me even more too!!!

And these, my friends/readers/enemies, i swear upon to you, and God, that i will never, ever, do these unbelievable, heartless, pathetic things when and if i finally have a stable job that pays well. Ironically, it is quite good that there are these horrible people on Earth. Because of them, i learn what makes a ________ (put in whatever that defines horrible) person.

Okay, bye!!! =D